It is a horrible truth, but girls with disabilities are very vulnerable. Statistics demonstrate that we are three occasions more likely to be abused or raped. Girls with disabilities specifically do not pick up signals of risk as readily as others.
This makes us the ideal goal.
However, I’ve made some bad sexual decisions. I had a dominating, manipulative boyfriend.
Luckily, though, I have never been attacked. Perhaps I have had only enough consciousness to understand whether a guy is very likely to kill or kill me at the long run.
Or perhaps I have just been blessed.
But there is another way to find out if he’s violent.
I know we are not the most intuitive individuals on the planet, but we might still possess that self-protective intuition which tells us when something isn’t perfect. I seldom understand consciously why somebody appears “off.” However, I really do get a sense of uneasiness around specific men and women. I have occasionally ignored those indications because I did not want to appear paranoid. Which, clearly, is the strangest thing we could do.
Really young. Like teens. You look like such a wonderful girl.”
We are also vulnerable to more longterm abusive spouses. Men like this begin by flattering you. He hones in on you since he sees that you are probably not utilized to compliments. He has been looking for girls like us for quite a very long moment. He knows you are not utilized to commend so he places them on thick. He’ll tell you whatever that you wish to hear. Notably that you are smart. He understands that being clever (publication smart at least) is wherever your self-esteem comes out of.
His purpose is to get one to feel that he’s the one person who sees this exceptional characteristic in you. It is a quick way to produce a bond with somebody: making them feel that the both of you’re the only individuals on the planet who understand this significant matter.
He may also attempt to show you that yes, he knows your plight. A well-dressed guy I’d like to see around city said one day that it has to be “difficult for me.” I inquired what he intended. He explained “because you are weird.”
I’m weird. He understood I know I am weird. And it is always tough for odd women up to now. Lots of guys like us originally. Their intentions are great. However, our quirks grate them on, and tons of great men can’t endure a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome for at least a few weeks.
This man’s intentions weren’t great. Great people do not call out people they hardly know for things they are insecure about. He desired me to meet him in the pub.
Girls with disabilities can be quite so desperate for attention that anybody who would like to be with us seems like a fanatic. And violent men are enchanting. They will single out you, which makes you feel as though you’re the only woman on earth.
The first indication is isolation. He may tell you that he does not need you going out having a specific friend of yours. He might say she has a terrible effect. Perhaps she is. However, the point is that he does not trust you to create your own decisions. This may carry over to other sections of your connection quickly. He will not want you with male friends either. Abusive men do not desire other guys around.
(Watch out for guys who do not have male friends, incidentally. Girls are generally forgiving. But guys understand if another guy is of bad character and they do not wish to be about them.)
A brighter abuser, such as my ex, will not make demands. Instead he will subtly talk off your loved ones members and friends, gradually making you believe that they’re bad for you.
Not all abused girls are unaware though. It is particularly sad when girls with disabilities willingly step in these relationships. I had a close friend who had been charmed by an abusive guy.
She knew deep down that he was likely to become reckless. She knew her dad would not have approved of the way he had been treating her. She knew her friends would not endure it out of their boyfriends. And yet, she remained with him. Since she felt like she could not do better.
We can perform. All of us can. It is infinitely better to be lonely than abused by a spouse. Not one of the guys I have explained here even deserve to be known as “partners.” They do not wish to become “part” of whatever. They only need to choose what they believe that they deserve.
So be cautious. Learn the indications. And above all, know that you’re so far greater than just what a piece of shit man wants from you.